There will never be a last goodbye
by Nice-one
Summary: Angel is gonna become Angelus again, because Angelus might have some information. He realizes there's only one person he needs to say goodbye to, in case he'll never become Angel again. BA! Plz review!


Disclaimer: I don't own Buffy the Vampire Slayer or any of the characters. And in case you're wondering: yes, that does make me sad sometimes....I mean, I asked Joss to adopt me, but he refused (why would he do that?!), so....  
  
This story take place right before Angel's souls gets removed in the hope Angelus has some information on the Beast. Angel knows that when he becomes Angelus there might be a chance that he'll never become Angel again. And there's one person he needs to say goodbye to...  
  
*_*_*_*_*_*_  
  
How did you find me here?  
  
If I was blind I would still see you.  
  
Stay with me.  
  
Forever. That's the whole point, I'll never leave. (whispers in her ear) Not even if you kill me.....  
  
Buffy and Angel (Anne)  
  
*_*_*_*_*_*  
  
Buffy entered the cemetery and sighed. She took a stake out of her pocket and started to walk pass the graves. She recognized all of them and she even knew some of the names of the people who were burried here, because she had walked here so many times before. She also knew that she shouldn't wait here for vampires to get out of their graves. She knew that at the end of the cemetery near the hill she could find the new graves, so she walked in that direction. She really didn't feel like patrolling, but she knew that she had to, because she had been too busy yesterday. She had almost reached the fresh graves when she noticed a dark figure standing a few feet in front of her, his back facing her. She stopped walking and tried to figure out what to do now. It would only be a matter of time before the figure turned around and would see her. And if she snug up on him and if he really was a vampire he would hear her immediately. So she decided the first option was the best. She would just wait for the figure to turn around and notice her. It was too dark to see anything special about the dark figure. He was tall and definitely male. She wasn't sure what he was doing, but it seemed like he was just standing there, doing nothing. She stood like that for a minute or so, without moving. The dark figure didn't move either and she wasn't sure what to do now. She was about to start walking and sneak up on him anyway when the dark figure suddenly spoke.  
  
"Are you waiting for me to turn around?"  
  
Buffy stopped walking and was a bit shocked. She recognized that voice. That couldn't be, right?  
  
"Well, honestly yes. And I'm used of getting my way, so..."  
  
She tried to sound confident, even though her knees were trembling. This couldn't be true, could it? The dark figure chuckled.  
  
"You haven't changed a bit"  
  
Then he slowly turned around and the moonlight lit up his face. The expression on Buffy's face changed. So it really was him.  
  
"Hi" he softly said.  
  
Buffy was too shocked to talk, her mouth opened, but words didn't come out, so eventually she closed her mouth again so she wouldn't look like an idiot. They stood like that for a few minutes, staring at each other. Eventually she opened her mouth again.  
  
"Angel" was all that came out.  
  
He nodded, as if Buffy needed a confirmation and did a few steps forward towards her. Then he stopped and looked at her. He was now close enough for Buffy to touch him, but she didn't.  
  
"It's good to see you" he said.  
  
"Yeah, it's good to see you too" she said softly.  
  
"You really sound enthusiastic" he said sarcastically, but not really meaning it. He understood this was a bit of a shock.  
  
"No, it is really good to see you...It's just....Right now the confusion is winning it over the happiness. In a few minutes from now I will probably be dancing around the cemetery...which would be a little inaproppriate, but....."  
  
She suddenly realized she was rambling and she stopped talking. Angel smiled at her.  
  
"A hug will do for now" he said.  
  
"Oh...okay. Sure"  
  
Then she felt his arms around her. He pulled her closer. She put her arms around his waist and leaned with her head on his chest. She slowly closed her eyes. It was so good to see him again, it just took her a few minutes to realize everything that was going on. He was back. He really was back and it were his arms around her right now. After a little while he let go of her again and they looked at each other.  
  
"So, you're gonna dance for me now?" he joked.  
  
"I am so confused right now that you could even make me dance the Locomotion if you want to"  
  
He smiled.  
  
"I knew I would find you here"  
  
"Yeah, this is pretty much the only social life I have, so...."  
  
"That's not what I meant"  
  
"I know"  
  
Without even realizing it, they started to walk. Next to each other. Pass the graves, neither of them looking at the headstones.  
  
"So, how are you doing?" Angel asked.  
  
Buffy looked up at him and for a minute she just wanted to lie to him and tell him everything was fine and that she had never been better, but she knew she couldn't lie to him. He had been the one person in her life she had never been able to lie to.  
  
"I'm still alive......I just don't know if that's a good or a bad thing yet"  
  
"Sorry to hear that"  
  
"Life can't always be happy and sunny"  
  
Then she realized what she had just said. Sunny...Great choice of words Buffy, she thought to herself, but Angel didn't seem to have noticed. They kept walking. Buffy finally started to realize that it really was Angel walking next to her. It really was the love of her life, walking next to her like he had never been away.  
  
"How's life in L.A?"  
  
"Hectic"  
  
"And besides that?"  
  
"Life isn't treating me bad...."  
  
"And yet you're here"  
  
"I'm not running if that's what you're saying" he said.  
  
"I'm not saying anything. I'm just wondering what brought you here"  
  
"Well, it has been a while"  
  
"Yes, it has" Buffy agreed.  
  
"And since I didn't hear anything from you, I just decided to come here and see for myself how you're doing"  
  
"My phone works"  
  
Angel stopped walking and looked at Buffy.  
  
"You really know how to make me feel welcome, don't you?"  
  
Buffy smiled.  
  
"I'm sorry. You know I don't mean it like that. You're always welcome, you know that. It's just that there's something you're not telling me"  
  
"What makes you think that?"  
  
"Come on, Angel. I know you"  
  
Angel started to walk again. Buffy followed him. They didn't speak for several minutes. Then Angel said:  
  
"Have you ever noticed how easily you forget about the bad times? Just think about it. Sometimes I just so badly want to go back in time. When things seemed so less complicated. When of course they weren't. We had our problems back then, but somehow the only thing I remember are the good things."  
  
Buffy knew that Angel was right. It happened all the time that she was in bed at night and couldn't sleep. And it often happened that her mind wandered back to the past. To the way things had been. Sometimes she thought back about the time she and Angel had been together and somehow that always brought a smile on her face. Even though things hadn't been easy then, she only remembered the good things. The love she had felt whenever she was around him, his arms around her, his touch....the dance they had shared at the Prom. Those were all good memories, when the truth was that there were probably a lot more bad memories, but somehow she never thought of those.  
  
"I know the feeling" she said.  
  
"Cos seriously...Take the time when we were together for example. What kind of problems did we have back then? I mean, sure we had a few issues with the Mayor and of course there was that time when you killed me, but other than that...." he said sarcastically  
  
Buffy smiled. Yep, those were the bad memories. Things that she really didn't wanna think about, but weren't that bad when she did think about it. After all, they all had a happy ending. Except for the fact that she and Angel weren't together anymore.....  
  
"Yeah, I killed you. I remember that vaguely"  
  
Now it was Angels turn to smile.  
  
"So, how are the others doing? Cordy and Wesley?"  
  
"We're okay"  
  
"Good to hear that"  
  
"I mean, of course there's that thing that my son Connor and the woman I'm in love with, Cordy...slept together, but we all live, so hey...What right have I to complain?"  
  
Buffy stopped walking and looked up at Angel with a puzzled look on her face.  
  
"That was a whole lot of information and about 2/3 of it didn't make any sense to me and souded kinda gross"  
  
Somehow that made Angel smile, even though Buffy couldn't think of anything that could possibly be funny at this moment.  
  
"Where do you want me to start?" he asked.  
  
"The beginning......You have a son?"  
  
"Yep....I slept with Darla and she got pregnant"  
  
"Darla?"  
  
"Don't even ask"  
  
"I'm not asking, it's just....Darla?!"  
  
"I get the point"  
  
"I'm sure you do, but still...Darla?!"  
  
"She's dead now"  
  
"Darla?"  
  
"Let's just try not to mention her name in the next half hour, okay?" Angel asked a little irritated.  
  
Buffy looked at Angel and realized this whole I-slept-with-Darla-thing wasn't that big of a deal to him. She didn't understand that. He slept with Darla, how could he stay so calm under that.  
  
"I'm sorry. You slept with Da....her and now the two of you have a baby. That's perfectly normal. Except for the fact that it's not normal the two of you have a baby, but...."  
  
"He's not so much a baby" Angel quickly interrupted, knowing that once Buffy started rambling she wasn't gonna stop any time soon.  
  
"So, he's a vampire?"  
  
"Not so much"  
  
Buffy gave Angel another puzzled look. This didn't make sense to her at all.  
  
"I don't know what he is....He's just not a vampire"  
  
"How?"  
  
"Don't know. He's just not....but he is a teenager"  
  
"How did that happen? I mean, how old is he?"  
  
"Not old enough to be a teenager. Some guy took him with him in some sort of hell dimension and when he came out.....Teenager"  
  
"Wow" was all she could say.  
  
Angel didn't seem to blame her for being a little confused. They sat down on a headstone and they didn't talk for a few minutes.  
  
"Alright...Bring on the other surprises" she eventually said.  
  
Angel looked at her, not sure how to continue.  
  
"You said something about being in love with Cordelia?"  
  
Angel slowly nodded.  
  
"Oh...well.....Good for you.....Except of course for the fact that she slept with your son.......Gross by the way.....not your son...Just the idea that Cordy and....Well, you get my point"  
  
Angel nodded again.  
  
"I'm not helping here, I know. Sorry" Buffy apologized.  
  
"It's not like you can do anything that will help me"  
  
"Guess not"  
  
Buffy stared at Angel and felt so sorry for him. The look on his face broke her heart. He was the love of her life and she didn't want him to be hurting.  
  
"So, you and a certain vampire slept together?.....How come you're not....soulless?....I mean, you aren't evil, are you?"  
  
"I think you would have noticed that about now if I was, don't you?"  
  
"Sorry" she apologized again.  
  
"Stop apologizing, will you? You're not doing anything wrong"  
  
"Sor......." she immediately covered her mouth with her hands.  
  
Angel smiled.  
  
"Why are you doing that anyway? It's nothing like you to be this insecure and to keep apologizing like this" he asked.  
  
"It's just this whole situation. It's still a little uncomfortable"  
  
"I know what you mean"  
  
"But I'm glad you're here. I really am"  
  
"Good....I just can't stay"  
  
"What?"  
  
"I kinda have a situation in LA....I shouldn't even be here in the first place"  
  
"What kind of situation?"  
  
"It's nothing.....We can handle it.....I hope"  
  
Oh....Don't like the sound of that. If you want to I could come with you"  
  
"We can handle it, really. You just stay here. The people here need you more than I do"  
  
Buffy looked up at Angel. Then she brought her hand to his cheek and softly stroke it. He closed his eyes for a sec. When he opened them again Buffy was still staring at him. They moved a little closer, their lips were almost touching. They stared in each others eyes, then Buffy kissed him softly. Angel started to kiss her back. They closed their eyes and enjoyed this moment. It wasn't a kiss out of love....It was more a goodbye kiss, even though they both knew they were gonna see each other again, eventually. It was a goodbye for now. Buffy stopped kissing and moved back. Her hand was still on his cheek and she slowly took her hand back. They stared at each other again.  
  
"Be careful" Buffy whispered to him.  
  
"You too" he whispered back.  
  
Angel got up from the headstone. For a few seconds he stood in front of her. He took Buffy's hand in his, then he kissed her forehead. He started to walk away and Buffy had to let go of his hand. He turned around one more time and she smiled. He smiled back. He started to walk again. Buffy watched him leave and felt an empty feeling inside of her.  
  
"Angel" she yelled after him.  
  
He turned around. Buffy hesitated for a sec, then she said:  
  
"If it's meant to be, she'll come around"  
  
Angel nodded. She gave him another smile, then Angel turned around and dissapeared. Buffy sighed. Angel was her everything. She realized now that no matter who she was gonna fall in love with from now on, she would never love that person as much as she had loved Angel, still loved maybe even. But she knew that they could probably never be together and she guessed that was a good thing. Right now they had all the good memories and no one could ever change that. 


End file.
